How'd I Get Here?

Thursday, July 9, 2015
     Ahhhh.... Can you smell the new beginnings in the air?!? Or maybe that's just the clean laundry I need to fold.  Anywho... Yay for new beginnings and fresh starts!!  This is the inaugural post of my new blog and I'm pretty excited about where this new adventure will take me.
    I was a partner in a blog that was growing in popularity (especially on facebook) and, in my opinion, was on a serious road to success. After branching out into a small business with the blog as our foundation, I took a huge leap and walked away from my full time job to focus solely on the business we were trying to create.  After months of long days, sleepless nights and endless attempts to get things off the ground I realized my partner in crime was no longer my partner.  She no longer held the same vision for our blog/business that I did and she walked away to pursue different dreams.
 
 Where did this leave me? Jobless, broke, angry and scrambling to put my life back together in between bouts of hiding under my covers. I was lost. In fact, I'd always been a bit lost but now I had absolutely no idea what was going to happen. It took months to finally get my life back in some semblance of order. Months of interviewing for jobs, working at a low paying part time job that I hated, borrowing money from my mother and crying to my brother all while teetering on the edge of a steep emotional and spiritual cliff.  I was spiraling but after some time, some much needed focus on gratitude and a shift in my stank attitude things started to change. The change was by no means easy but it had to happen and I welcomed it. I more than welcomed it. I chased it down, wrestled it into submission, conked it on the head and drug it home with me.
     I finally found work which was a huge relief but the work was in a different state. I had to walk away from the place I'd lived and the life I'd had for 10 years and start fresh in a new/old place (I've lived her before).  It was hard but also incredibly easy.  In two weeks it will be one year since I moved and so much has changed while an annoying amount of stuff has stayed the same.  I'm still dealing with the upheaval that time in my life caused mostly in a financial sense. I'm also trying to regain my love for blogging/writing, learning and sharing. After so much happened, I had to place the anger and blame somewhere (rightfully so or not) and one of those somewhere's was writing.  I'd
believed in it and my ability to do it and I felt as though it ruined me and failed me. The tumultuous time has also left another hole, a deep gaping hole, in my life.  Magick.  During all the sadness, drama and uncertainty I'd completely closed the door on all the magick in my life.  In the middle of scratching and clawing my way back into my life I made a wrong turn at Albuquerque, losing a huge part of who I am.  Personal power, self belief, my connection to the Divine, reliance on my intuition and magick... gone.  I can't tell you the last time I meditated, performed spell work, cleansed my crystals or even sat down and read one of the books in my bulging personal library.  In fact, this blog post is the first thing I've written in a very long time (aside from sporadic journaling.).
     Hence the blog and its title.  I have to start somewhere and I have to return to the things I love and enjoy.  Writing, creating, making magick, learning and sharing.  I don't know how often I'll write posts or the subjects I'm going to cover (I'm still working out some kinks). Some posts from my former blog will be updated and shared here. I'm not sure what this new blog will look like once it takes shape but I have to start somewhere if I'm going to figure out Witch Way Now.

~BB~